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I, Monsieur Spruce had been conferred the honorary title of Chancellor of the Order of the Cannon. The arduous task of scripting the Chronicles of the Cannon at a time of great unrest had fallen upon my frail shoulders.
As I look out of the tower from whence I write (a room in the royal palace Emiratia where the scrolls are kept), I remember that it is the year of our Lord two thousand and thirteen. It is the 16th year of the reign of the Duke of Ashburtonshire and the reign of the King Pete of Arsenalia; God save the King.
The Duke of Ashburtonshire was a travelling warrior prince from France. Skilled in the art of offensive warfare, he conquered the French provinces of Nancy and Monaco before leaving for Nagoya Grampus at the request of their Emperor to train his Samurai warriors.
Not long after, he was summoned by the King of Arsenalia who desperately needed his skill to conquer provinces that rebelled against his rule. The travelling prince accepted the task on the condition that he is conferred Duke of the province of Ashburtonshire. The king agreed.
It was to be a difficult task; with 19 rebellious provinces to be conquered and subdued, the newly crowned Duke of Ashburtonshire set out to accomplish the task. Under the guidance of the Duke, the province of Ashburtonshire prospered. He conquered the 19 provinces including the province of Old Traffordshire ruled by the evil sorcerer Ferguman. And Ashburtonshire and Arsenalia lived in peace… until 7 years ago. The King, the Duke and the knights of the Cannon ‘fell asleep’.
The evil sorcerer Ferguman cast a spell of upheaval over the conquered provinces and the kingdom of Arsenalia could not contain it. Again, they looked to the Duke of Ashburtonshire for help but alas!, it was too late.
And from the upheaval emerged four powerful provinces – the henchmen of Old Trafforshire led by the sorcerer Ferguman, the travelling mercenaries of Etihad led by the Sheiks from Persia, the fishmongers of Chelsea led by the Tsar of Russia and the scavengers of the north led by a Portuguese prince.
For 7 years these powerful provinces ruled and each fought for control over the 19 rebellious provinces. For 7 years the noblemen of Arsenalia were confounded by the sorcery of Fergy, the wealth of the Sheiks and Tsar and the sheer tenacity of the scavengers from the North.
It was time to regroup, somehow. It was time to call in the help of mercenaries; it was time to dig deep to find the strength to fight, and it seemed only the Duke of Ashburtonshire, the prince from France – Wenger – could accomplish this task. This was thought to be his forte.
The Duke Wenger of Ashburtonshire, Count Bouldie and the knights of the Cannon all sit around the round table speaking in hushed tones. The king had summoned them into his inner sanctum, this was not good…
Enter the king.
King Pete: (Angrily) what great evil is this that has befallen us! Ye hath all fallen asleep! Ye hath left our defensive walls unguarded, ye hath let thy swords go unsharpened and let our cannons go to rust! The folks of Arsenalia shifteth allegiance! Nay, we cannot handle yet another rebellion, not from the people of Arsenalia!
Duke Wenger: Your majesty?
King Pete: I asketh of thee, what are thy plans to remedy this evil?
Duke Wenger: Err… we plan to employ the skills of mercenary soldiers from around Europe your majesty. In fact, our most recent acquisition, a foot soldier from Spain helpeth us rebuild the breaches in the wall surrounding the kingdom. This will protect us from enemy invasions.
A few days ago, we were able to subdue attacks from Sunderlania. Knights Lord Bacary, Lord Per and our foot soldier from Spain – Lord Nacho – kept the army of Sunderlania at bay. Lord Santi dealt the blow that forced the Sunderlanian army to retreat. Our army at the moment have sent 15 provinces retreating but we cannot say if they shall reinforce and attack again.
Count Bouldie: If you will my Duke, let me speak.
Duke Wenger: Speak.
Count Bouldie: I hear that Sunderlania are engaging the skills of the minions of Blackburn. They also hope to engage the services of the army of the Kaiser of Bayern to weaken our army.
(The king is livid.)
King Pete: Wenger prince of Strasbourg!
(Duke Wenger thinks…”Uh-oh, this is not good, he just kicked out the Duke-shizzy out of my name”)
Duke Wenger: Yes my king?
King Pete: Have I not made all the gold in the kingdom available to you!?
Duke Wenger: Yes you have my king.
King Pete: Have I not given thee consent to use as you please for the procurement of mercenary knights!?
Duke Wenger: Yes you have my king.
King Pete: Then why have you failed to obtain the aid of the giant Fursts from Germania or the Princes of Rome and Spain or the nimble swordsmen from the land of the sun – Rio de Janeiro?
(They suddenly hear the shouts of the town crier.)
Town Crier: The minions from Blackburn are two days away! Two days until they arrive and attack! They are headed for Emiratiaaaaaaaa!!!
Watch this space and see the story unfold.
Copyright© 2013 Mister Spruce