Chronicles of the Cannon: Pandemonium Everywhere (Part 1 Scene 3)

Click here to know what happened previously on Chronicles of the Cannon Oh Really?


Part 1 Scene 1, Part 1 Scene 2

As Lord Wilshere had predicted, the Kaisers of Bayern led by Kaiser Jupp arrived at sunset. But the Arsenalian army were weak and beaten so that there was hardly any resistance.

The Kaisers of Bayern sliced through the garrisons at Finsbury hill built by the Duke of Ashburtonshire and there was a great massacre of foot-soldiers.

Kaisers Kroos and Muller slaughtered a great number of the already wounded armour bearers. The shields of the knights of Arsenalia already battered by the minions of Blackburn were too weak to withstand the brunt of the swords of the Kaisers forged in the belly of the volcanic mountains of Munich.

Lord Wilshere and Lord Poldi stood their ground and fought off as many as they could but, it was the swipe of the sword of Kaiser Mario on the helmet of Lord Szczesny the chief foot-soldier that did them in

Lord Wilshere: Nooooo…

Photo Credits|
Lord Szczesny underneath the horse hanging on to some random thing for dear life. Check out Lord Per’s battered Versace shield (see left hand corner, dude in helmet)

Lord Vermalen: Lords Bacaryand Nacho! Take Lord Szczesny to the infirmary at once!

And the Duke of Ashburtonshire stood atop Drayton Hill and saw the bodies of his men strewn across the plains of Holloway road. He knew defeat was imminent.

Duke Wenger: Retreat! Retreat! Run for the fort of Hornsey, lock the gates!!!

And so they fled; what was left of the already depleted army. They ran for the walls of the fort at Hornsey where an underground tunnel would take them into east wing of the palace Emiratia, the only place where they were safe.

As the wounded and dead where brought into the grounds of the palace, the people of Emiratia snickered, hissed and jeered at the Duke. The King of Arsenalia had taxed them heavily to enable the Duke employ the services of warrior mercenaries from around the world. He did not.

To them, he was the cause of the great evil that had now befallen them…

Villager 1: Scrooge!

Villager 2: (Spit), I fork out 62 gold coins every full moon and this is what you give-th us? Sweat, tears and blood!?

Villager 3: May the blood of our fallen soldiers and the loss of the Fontaine Antuoi be upon thy head!

No longer was the Duke of Ashburtonshire, the one who brought in years of plenty, to them, it seemed he brought only disappointment. Only death.

Enter the Duke and limping knights into the court of King Pete.

King Pete: Wenger, Prince of Strasbourg!!!

Duke Wenger: My king, let me explain. We were not prepared for this kind of onslaught.

King Pete: My kingdom is in shambles!!!

Duke Wenger: We have to give our best and hope we have built our confidence a bit more…, we have two battles now…

King Pete: The Fontaine Antuoi has been stolen! The walls ruined!

Duke Wenger: It has happened to us before…we changed and reversed things in the past…we’ve come back, I have confidence in my knights.

King Pete: And the Chalice Louisa?!

Duke Wenger: The cup of the Chalice Louisa? Why, my king, it lies in its place by the statue of Lord Antonio Adams.

King Pete: Fool. Esquire Gnarby, tell him!

Esquire Gnarby: Err…Duke, the cup of the Charlice Louisa is missing from its place.

Duke Wenger: What!? Shit! (sounding like ‘sheet’)

Lord Wilshere: My king, if you will, let me speak.

King Pete: Speak

Lord Wilshere: I believe what we had was a case of nerves my Lord. This has nothing to do with the Duke. As Knights of the Round Table, we take responsibility for our actions…

Lord Gervinho: Dude, speak for yourself o!

King Pete: Shut up you shiny cannon ball of a forehead! As you were saying Lord Wilshere?

Lord Wilshere: The Armoury and our coffers have been underutilised; we need an upgrade on every front.

Esquire Afobe runs in…

Esquire Afobe: Forgive me my king and my lords for charging in. My king, you have a letter, it’s from the villains of Aston!

The letter reads:

“Oh king of Arsenalia,

It is with great delight that we write this letter. We hear you’ve been rightly done by the minions of Blackburn and the Kaisers of Bayern, lol. Your once great army has been depleted and your valiant knights weak and wounded in spirit.

We have decided to make war, no, we have decided to come plunder the remnants of whatever the Kaisers left since the scavengers of Tottenham are led by a prince too posh to smell the carcass of your fallen men.

Prepare for us, you and your men, as we will reach the grounds of the Emiratia in 2 days. Oh! We forgot, you barely have any men left, lol.

Lambert The Villain”

And all eyes turned to Wenger…


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