 |
| I just had to go to church and reflect…that is, after I got sober |
So my heart has been broken, I’ve drunk a little too much scotch, I’ve been through a roller-coaster of emotions – Anger, Nausea (If that’s an emotion), Contempt, Depression and then indifference. That’s where I’m at now.
The deed has been done, what I feared has finally come upon me but, I’ve turned sober and thrown away my bottle of scotch. I only want to give RvP my blessings before we send him off riding into the sunset.
| What else was I to do? I became a desperate, desperate fan. |
I pray, gather yourselves together that I might tell you what is to befall “the villain” in the last phase of his career.
O harken to the voice of desperate, hurt and ridiculed fans; hear the pain in our silence, see the pain in our smiles, in our reluctance to ever visit Old Trafford again. See, hear and if you can, feel.
He was our first-born, our might, our vigour, the one who scored 37 goals and managed to keep us in the top 3. This gave him pre-eminence in the heart of the management, in the heart of Wenger, in the heart of us – the supporters. ( I know that’s not grammatically correct but I’m beyond caring right now)
Ye, we have seen the true man that lies beneath the grey hair – headstrong, vindictive,deceitful and cruel. Ah! The heart of man has been said to be deceitful and desperately wicked, who can know it except the Lord! RvP has made true this statement, we didn’t know his heart’s intent until he put it out for us to see.
Forgive us Father for putting our trust in the man, in the villain because alas!, he has failed us.
So, from the very depths of our hearts, we offer these blessings:
You, Robin villain Persie shall not excel and have pre-eminence at Manchester United because you have defiled the people of the Canon (us) with your lies of loyalty and service; with your foul mouthed declaration of love and trust.
RvP, cursed be your time at the Old Trafford! Cursed be your first play on the pitch. May the trials and tribulations of Fernando Torres be your portion albeit something much worse.
Ye, a goal drought shall befall thee, that which was akin to the 7 year famine/drought in Egypt. We do not pray for injury, nay, we pray for the confounding of your creativity on the field of play. A situation where you give the opposition valuable passes and score own goals.
A situation where you would be called the worst gamble of the transfer market the English Premiership has ever seen. A situation where Sir Alex Ferguson sends you onto the pitch with much trepidation as he will feel more confident playing with 9 men on the pitch than playing with you as the 12th.
Ah! Ye! And in years to come when we all are no more, in the time when cars shall fly and dogs shall be able to use cell phones, your story shall be used as a folklore to remind want-away footballers of the consequences of wanting to want-away from a club that has given you its everything.
As you leave us, us who have hung on with hope, this is our prayer for you.
We wait for your salvation, O Lord! The salvation of Arsenal. And we wait for the salvation of Arsenal.
Amen
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PS: Here are tweets from digitally upset Gooners:
In defense of RVP, every player dreams of playing for FA and alongside referees in their career once, commonly known as Mancheater United.
— The Funny Gooner (@FunnyGooner) August 15, 2012
RT
@mcmeiksy: Like this DVD I foolishly purchased, RvP’s club legacy is now well and truly in the bin… twitter.com/McMeiksy/statu…
— Tim Clark (@arse2mouse) August 15, 2012
Goodluck on your debut next week Robin Van Persie. Break a leg!
#AFC#PunIntended
— Hakimi Asyraf (@whykimi) August 15, 2012
RVP broke ma heart.
— SAM€€R@ME4ME (@rahmaniyasameer) August 15, 2012
We’ll win the league this year.Then, I’ll personally send an Ostrich’s egg to RVP so that he smash it in his face.You can favorite this.
— The Funny Gooner (@FunnyGooner) August 15, 2012
I hope
@persie_official enjoys the Bench at united. HE SCORES WHEN HE WANTS HE’S LUKAS PODOLSKI HE SCORES WHEN HE WANTS.
— Arsenal Family (@arsenalfamily) August 15, 2012
“Sorry dude.. I just signed up ur captain =D” My United friend just sent me that. This is just the beginning
— Lalah (@naijaendgooner) August 15, 2012
Hey Don’t litter your garbage.
@mattsatt_yuston twitter.com/FunnyGooner/st…
— The Funny Gooner (@FunnyGooner) August 15, 2012
Thanks for reading! If you liked this post, don’t forget to share, Like, Stumble-upon and spread.Thanks in advance.
NEWS UPDATE
Here’s a funnier side to the story.
Yours in football,
